Confessions of a Backslider

I realized this weekend that I'm a 'backslider'. A backslider is an unfortunate term used in church circles to describe members who are gradually becoming disconnected to the church. I dislike the term because it mistakenly indicates that church attendance is the essence of being a Christian.

What happened was that I woke up Saturday morning after my wife had left for church and realized that I no longer go. I can't really remember if I have been to church since Christmas (although I do know for sure that I didn't attend a Christmas service, as we had a lively discussion over the Christmas dinner as to whether Christmas has, or should have, anything to do with Jesus).

Anyway, for a while I have only been attending church to make my wife happy. Its not that I am against the church or that I don't believe anymore, on the contrary, my belief in Jesus is the central hope in my life. Its just that I'm bored to tears in church and really I don't feel needed there.

I accept that I must take responsibility for myself and actively strive to be a part of a church community. I do believe, however, that most churches fail to engage the majority of their members in important lifesaving work. Neither do they convey to their members the message that they are needed. When I say engaged I don't just mean being involved in the church service, but engaged in doing work they like, have talent for, and (most importantly) believe is important.

As a backslider I should know!